Tag Archives: in your head

Multitasking Madness

I’ve got 29 tabs open in my browser and every 2 minutes something else pops into mind and my mouse heads towards the “+” icon to ‘Open a New Tab’!! What is wrong with me?!

  • I want to blog about some story ideas I had
  • I have some job applications to submit
  • Need to do some research on companies for a kick-ass job application
  • Thinking about (and googling) recipe ideas for the leftover kiwi in my pantry
  • Feeling a little frustrated and want to blog about the fuzz that’s growing in my mind and a growing hunger in my belly as it draws closer to dinner time…

Stop!

I took a breath and opened WordPress, but got distracted by reading the posts from some of my favorite bloggers.
Wait, what was I trying to do?
Closed WordPress.
As I berate myself mentally, I realize the pantry is just a few steps away.
Mmm a cookie would taste so good right now.

I should grab one.
But it’s too close to dinner. Or is it?
Images of the Tim Tams I bought tempted me further into the sweet, sweet embrace of my pantry and all its treasures.
A mental battle ensues.
One that logic wins.
Defeated, I grab the thing nearest to me.
My cup – and took a sip of water.
It tasted nothing like the sweet sensation of chocolate.

Searching for a distraction, I looked back at my screen and clicked on a random tab.
It was a job opening I was interested in.
Re-read it.
It was a website I had never seen before, asking for my resume and contact details.
I wondered if they were legit.
Opened a new tab to research on the jobbing website.

It was taking some time to load.

Re-opened WordPress.
Clicked on “New Post”.
Maybe I could try to get a post in while it was loading.
I had some ideas on what to blog, hmmm….
My stomach growls.

I’m hungry, it’s dinner time.
Or close to it.
Everything else will have to wait.

Just for a little while.

My Tim Tam Stash

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I’m Back!

Hi all, sorry I haven’t been blogging much lately. Remember my rant on my recent move and subsequent uncertainty about the situation, which then led to a self-motivational post about life? *takes a breath* If not, see it here!

Hmmm I don’t really know why people do that. By “that” I mean linking their current post to a previous post. I did it because I’ve seen it done so often so here I am trying it out. My verdict: Feels a little silly, but then Maybe it’s just for the readers’ convenience because, let’s admit it, our memories are unpredictable to say the least.

But I digress.

I wasn’t blogging much because I was lured away by the sound of typing on a classic keyboard, and not the kind that comes from my laptop, but from stickier, firmer keys. This sounds crazy but I think I might have been conditioned, yep, like a dog to the bell.

Now before you imagine me floating in the air behind a phantom clicking keyboard, let me just clarify that I did no such thing. To refine the terms of the “classical conditioning” I am under, it has to be in a quiet office space where every one else in there is doing something similar. Now doesn’t that sound like a chain of factory workers sitting at their designated areas typing away on their keyboards, assembling the individual parts of a (Made in China) doll or dress or perhaps even a, dare I say it, a car.

That’s right, an employment opportunity came up with an urgent need for a short term contract, so I filled it. I thoroughly enjoyed it too. I’ll tell you why in my next post; and yes, being able to have extra money to spend on that codfish or salmon was definitely a big part of it.

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Mind the Gap

I really like waiting for trains.
I just realized this as I was typing it.

Yeah it’s pretty fun just standing there, or sitting if I’m tired, with my headphones in, listening to my favorite tunes on my 32MB mp3 player. My argument: Quality is more important than Quantity. I still stand by that today.

Maybe it’s the people waiting with me.
Every wait gives the possibility of new interactions with people I’ve never met before! At the same time my eyes scan the crowd for familiar faces of possible train buddies. 🙂

Maybe it’s the ability to be completely anti-social and get away with not being called “anti-social”. Because when you get to the office, they might just think you’re being moody or arrogant or something.

Or maybe it’s just the mind-numbing routine.
I don’t know, there’s something ethereal about it when you know this is a mind-numbing routing so you’re both there and not there at the same time. It’s also a good time to read, and re-read the signs and notices on the floor and walls, and fully enjoy being IN this situation of waiting.

Because once you get to your destination, you’re expected to do something more than wait.

Sometimes I stare at the tracks and imagine a crazy adventure of falling down and trying to climb onto the platform before the train arrives. Which makes me think I lack the basic instinct for self-preservation in all living things, like in the movie “The Happening“.

Oh and once I’m on the train, it’s a whole different adventure.

p/s: An interesting side effect of the 32MB player was that my subconscious mind knew what song was next and it felt like I had the power to see the future! In a very minute, insignificant way…

(I was going to post my little story up, about crocodiles and family, but it’s late afternoon and if you could hear my brain, you would hear a monotonous buzzzing. So somehow, this came out.)

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I Wonder Why

I wonder why a laptop is thus called when we are advised not to use it on the lap but on a flat surface to ensure proper ventilation; shouldn’t we call it a ‘flattop’ instead?

I wonder what sort of bird is making noises outside my window right now at 10:30pm; shouldn’t it be asleep by now?

I wonder why my tummy makes funny noises sometimes when everyone else in the room is silent; shouldn’t my body be more in sync with me?

Just a few thoughts @ 10:30pm.

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(I think) I’m Trying

It’s not that I’m not trying
I’m trying to understand what I did
What I said that was wrong

I check our chat logs
I check my memory
They are flawed

But I still don’t see it
Maybe in the same way
You don’t see what you did wrong

You put me in a box
You labelled me
With things other people said
With things I told you in confidence
With things that happened just once
You don’t see me for who I am
It hurts
Because I thought you did

My feeble mind
Is filled with
How quick you are to anger
How quickly you jump to conclusions
How you judge me all the time
I guess I don’t know you too
I’m sorry
I thought I did

I’m not playing games
I just can’t get my mind
Around everything

We live in a world
Framed
By our own narratives
Subjected
To our own analysis
Influenced
By our fluctuating emotions
Limited
By the way we communicate
Filled
With the feelings that may be
Too difficult to grasp

I don’t understand
How can things be worked out
When we can never fully understand
What someone else is feeling
No matter how hard we try

But I’m trying

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Ending the Bad Day “Curse”

I’m working on a little story right now but it’s taking a little longer than expected to finish. So in the meantime, something came to mind.

I’m sure you’ve felt, at least once, like the whole world hates you, including the birds and the cute little dog next door; and it must have happened enough for there to be so many sayings about it! E.g.:

  1. Waking up on the wrong side of the bed
  2. Murphy’s Law – if something can go wrong, it will
  3. Someone saying “at least it couldn’t get any worse”, and it does
  4. Someone saying “don’t worry I’m sure things will get better soon”, and it doesn’t
  5. When it rains, it pours
  6. Things will get worse before they get better
  7. Mind over matter – you can beat the “bad day”, and you get more frustrated trying

Which makes me wonder, why do bad things always happen all at once? Sometimes it really feels like there’s a higher power at play to have all these horrible things happen all in one day. Then sometimes I think, why would the higher power even bother with something like that, or someone like me?

Why God Why Kitten

Life's a stage

Although what would the alternative be? Spreading all the bad things across a whole year and by that imagine a bad day but lasting for 365 times as long? Nooo… that would be bad. Actually, that might make you immune to bad things. Which would be good…? Bruce sure didn’t like it. Who’s Bruce? (Note: Opens in a new window)

Well some people say it’s all in your head, but I live with my head and sometimes I can’t control where my mind takes me! So that doesn’t really help. Plus my mind always has a really kick-ass comeback for that. For a more scientific breakdown, see this lifehacker article: The Science Behind “Having a Bad Day” (and How to Solve It), if not, read on!

Uber Bad Day

Maybe this is all in my head

My recipe for dealing with bad days if you’re an optimist or even a semi-optimist or just someone who wants to make it better is:

  1. You can choose to sulk  (if you’re around people close to you, then make sure they know you’re sulking) or suck it up (especially if you’re in the bus, nobody wants to sit next to a crazy person).
  2. When you’ve sulked or sucked it up enough, consider venting to someone who will listen, provide a comforting pat and not rebut or laugh at your misfortunes.
  3. Spend some alone time figuring out your thoughts or calming yourself down from the “adrenaline rush” of depression. Trust me it helps, whether or not you like spending time with yourself.
  4. Distract yourself with something mindless. Try not to do anything too challenging as that may add to the frustration. E.g. read a children’s book or play a mindless game that has no room for failure.
  5. If possible, do what you enjoy, be it hanging out with friends virtually or physically, reading, writing etc, but try to avoid any impetuous acts of booking a trip overseas or buying a house or anything of that sort you may regret later.
  6. Otherwise, let time do the healing and when you feel it’s safe for you – mentally, emotionally and physically, slowly “head out into the world” again – ie resume what you were doing and the “Curse of the Bad Day” is lifted!
  7. If the above doesn’t work sometimes consciously trying to make it a better day actually does work.

Now if only I could get myself to remember that…if anyone succeeds, let me know!

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